Why relationships are hard work?

why relationships are hard work? - couple on bicycle
                                                                 via pixabay, under creative commons license

Whether you are currently pining over your love interest or  are already in a serious relationship – you will soon find out that being in a relationships isn’t as rosy as you thought it would be. Soon you will come to terms with the fact that like every other investment in life, it takes time and comittment to nurture but if you are willing to stick it out till the end- then it is probably worth the fuss. Below are 5 reasons why relationships are hard work:

1 . It takes time to get to know your love interest

Even if you have been with your partner for years, you will find that you learn something new about them everyday. This can be great at times as it allows the relationship to grow and reaffirms the emotional connection. However, as with anything sturdy – a strong foundation is necessary which means it requires a constant time comittment to get to know the other person. This can be especially difficult if you have a busy lifestyle or are just used to spending time alone. Therefore one of the biggest reasons relationships tend to be hardwork is because it requires you to sacrifice your time and effort in making the connection work and last through constant maintenance over time.

The following are some adjustments that need to be made:

  • Allocating more time to text, call or go on dates
  • Doing fewer things you enjoy doing alone and trying to find things you can do with a partner
  • Spend time doing things that may not necessarily make you happy


2. Differing views about the world

We all have strong opinions about things – some more than others. It can therefore be difficult at times to share the sentiment as others especially if it contradicts your own personal beliefs. This can be especially difficult to overcome in relationships. Therefore being able to accept your partner with all their views and to be tolerant about their perceptions and viewpoints is of utmost necessity to create a healthy relationship. Many of the times, it is for this very reason that relationships may seem strong initially until you get to know your partner on a deeper level. E.g. when two people have opposing views about children i.e. whether they would like to have children or not. Sometimes there are work arounds and compromises that can be made but if the compromise undermines your core beliefs and values then the relationship is seriously worth reconsideration.


3. Annoying quirks

Sure, quirks may seem cute and attractive at the start of a relationship but compound this over a lifetime and you will see that sometimes quirks can ruin relationships. Again, it all comes down to your level of tolerance and how much you are willing to give in. Due to this very reason, annoying quirks has earned itself a spot as one of the reasons relationships are hard work.


4. Character and personality shortfalls

Looks may be the first thing that catches your eye when looking for your prospective partner, but after that you are still stuck with long conversations with someone. Therefore if your partner lacks the type of character and personality you are attracted to, it can leave you mentally drained – running for the door. Depending on your preference with regards to this, “shy” or “outspoken” , “funny” or ” deadbeat” , you will find that an incompatible character and personality is one of the hardest things to overcome in a relationship.


5) Setting boundaries

The last reason on the list of why “relationships are hard work” is lack of boundaries and mutual respect. You will find that in relationships, setting up boundaries can be difficult to do especially without giving off the impression of disinterest or lack of comittment. However, having boundaries such as when two have “alone time” or ” how you like to spend your money” or “which friends you spend time with” needs to be accepted and agreed upon. Remember, ” absence makes the heart grow fonder” and no one likes a cling on. Remember you and your partner arent uniting into one being – you are both still seperate entities with your own dreams and aspirations. A relationship should only serve the purpose of enhancing your life and should never be used as a form of completion. If you are unable to find happines within yourself – you should probably keep searching.

If you are still single, then maybe you should check out 7 types of phobia which may be why you are still single. Alternatively, if you are looking to share some bonding time with your significant other then check out How chick flicks can spice up your relationship?

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