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Have you ever wondered why you are still single? For some it may be clear cut and for others not so much. If you find yourself constantly being told by people that you are a great person and should be off the market, then they are probably right. It may be that the fault lies in a deep rooted phobia that is inhibiting you from developing an intimate relationship with another. Below is a list of 7 phobias that may be destroying your chances at a love life:
1) Queunliskanphobia – phobia of saliva
Queunliskanphobia is defined as the fear of saliva or making contact with it. If you were to experience contact with it, you would probably wipe it off immediately out of shear panic and disgust. You can see why this phobia can be a real pain when it comes to developing relationships. Kissing is a big part of forming intimacy in a relationship. It signifies a growing interest, adoration and passion for your partner. It also releases oxytocin which enhances the feeling of pleasure and intimacy. Having Queunliskanphobia can therefore affect kissing since you would be reluctant to engage in an exchange of saliva, even if it is from the one you love.
2) Scoptophobia – fear of being embarrassed
Scoptophobia is characterized as the fear of being stared at or seen. Although the causes are not clearly defined, research suggest that it may be attributed to a combination of life experiences coupled with brain chemistry, heredity and genetics. This phobia can be detrimental to establishing relationships as it results in a low self-esteem and hence reluctance to approach people. Many people suffering from this phobia will constantly feel self-conscious about themselves and this can be a real buzz kill in a relationship. When faced with social situations, this phobia likely to put it’s sufferer in a state of panic. This is a real relationship killer, since most relationships are grown through frequent social meetings often in public places.
3) Philophobia -phobia of love itself
Philophobia is defined as the fear of love or rather the fear of being in love. Sufferers often resort to isolated behavior opting not to establish emotional connections with others. This can be a big issue in a relationship, as it often means that a bond can’t be formed resulting in common breakups and unsuccessful relationships. The cause of this phobia is often through some traumatic experience. The sufferer often goes through a negative experience in love or relationships. This can be in the form of a divorce or parent’s divorce.
4) Aphenphosmphobia – one of the phobias that affect intimacy
This phobia is often associated with being afraid of establishing intimacy in a relationship. Similar to the above but also includes issues such as not wanting to be touched. This fear is likely to stem from engulfment(fear of losing individualism) or also fear that the one you love may leave. In relationships, the sufferer is likely to experience the “fight or flight” response experienced during a threatening situation. It is clear now how this could damage a relationship. Imagine wanting to run as far away from the one you love when he/she decides to get closer to you.
5) Auto phobia -phobia around abandonment
This phobia probably leaves people in constant fear that they will end up like Will Smith in the movie I am legend. Alone with no one to keep them company. People with Autophobia feel severe emotional distress when they are alone even in the weirdest places. It also results in the fear of ending up alone. This can affect a relationship as one may become overly attached and obsessive towards their partner. This can be suffocating to the person experiencing it and often leads to break-ups. Another issue that could result from Autophobia could be making irrational decisions when choosing a partner. This could be randomly choosing a life partner, not because you love them, but rather because you are settling out of fear of being alone.
6) Metathesiophobia – the fear of change
We will all have our fair share of changes throughout our lives. Some good and some bad. However not all people handle changes in a positive light (i.e. seeing it as a new opportunity). Many people have an innate fear for change and often shy away from it most of the time. This intense phobia is called Metathesiophobia. This fear is also linked to Tropophobia which is linked to moving . People that have this phobia feel constantly depressed as they feel that their lives are out of their control. People who have this phobia, often have it due to some childhood incident where a change went horribly long. Hence there is often a reluctance to any change, however small it may be. In relationships, this can equate to not wanting to be in one, since a person may feel sharing a life with another may lead to many changes.
7) Panophobia – the fear of everything
If you found that you may have all of the phobias above and then some more. You may be suffering from Panophobia, which is essentially the fear of everything. These people live in an ongoing state of fear-afraid that something is likely to go terribly long at any time. Since people are not born with this phobia, it is instead learned by the brain. It is cumulative in nature and often over time, people may suffer from a multitude of phobias. This in itself can be a burden and often makes it difficult to establish a relationship.
For when you finally get over your phobias, read how can chick flicks spice up your relationship?